My dream of teaching yoga began many years ago… I loved yoga and wanted more! Fear held me back and I didn’t pursue it until years later. However, with these years and a few more trips around the sun came a certain wisdom. I grew to know myself better, along with my passions and God-given talents and abilities. I learned what great joy it brings to my heart when I am helping -truly serving- others. For several years my husband and I were able to serve children and families by providing foster care. This experience brought so many lessons, one of which was witnessing the power of addiction. It broke my heart (and still does) to see intelligent, creative, loving women be overcome by the powerful cycle of addiction. Of course we all know men experience the same struggle, but as a mother my heart ached for these women in particular. When my yoga teacher dream began to resurface I initially saw myself using it to serve women in shelters or treatment centers. However, once I became a certified teacher, my schedule quickly filled with classes in studios and with private groups.
A few months ago as my 300 hour teacher training was coming to a close, I came to the emotional realization that I was nowhere near where I set out to be. I felt selfish and privileged for unwittingly restricting myself to only teaching paid classes in a suburban area. One half of me was in “tear down” mode while the other half was logically saying, “But you have never suffered from addiction! How would you even relate and make the material accessible?!” I was nearly constantly plagued with questions- Am I making excuses? Am I playing it safe? Am I really helping anyone? These questions weighed heavily on my mind and my heart.
I brought these questions into my prayer and meditation time, praying the most terrifying prayer of all, “Where am I meant to be??” Over the course of the next week or two, students from my classes came to me and shared an emotional experience they had before, during, or after class. They were making connections and acknowledging pain they were going through previously or are currently. I delighted in the joy they were finding and prayed for the struggles they were facing. After a couple of these occurrences, it dawned on me-here is the revelation I had been asking for. Here is my God showing me that I might be helping people in my little corner of the world. People are struggling and hurting everywhere you look, not just in shelters and treatment centers. And while that work is incredibly valuable and I may be in that position one day, where I am right now is just as important and valuable, and I am precisely where I am meant to be at this moment in time.
I believe that we all long to connect and serve on a deeper level, and are called to do so. Whether it’s hand-to-hand with the homeless or caring for the people we call family, the greatest work of our lives is loving and serving others. You may find yourself in a season like me, wondering if and how anything you are doing is making a difference in the greater scheme of things. I want to encourage you- we are all called to different tasks and different seasons. It may be hard to see right now, but if “all” you are doing is serving your family, that may be “all” you are meant to do in this season. Just because you aren’t serving in a 3rd world country doesn’t mean that what you are doing isn’t valuable. While this shouldn’t be used as an excuse to stay in your cozy little comfort zone –take that leap of faith once in a while!– it is meant to encourage you wherever you may be serving this season. You are a blessing to those around you, whether you know it or not! Don’t be afraid to ask for a sign.